Sometimes, the bridge you burn is the one that leads you back to yourself, back to love."
~ Glennon Doyle
I stare at my screen, overwhelmed. My to-do list screams for attention: client documentation, invoices, program fixes, and a flood of new inquiries. While these are admittedly privileged concerns, they feel crushing at this moment. Beneath this surface-level stress lies a deeper truth: before I can serve others, I must reconnect with my divine essence and align with my inner truth.
This recognition brings me to a fundamental understanding: self-love is not a selfish indulgence but a vital act of service that renews the soul and fortifies our capacity to care for the world. Through my work with Internal Family Systems (IFS), I have learned that within each of us lives an inner family of voices—some anxious, some longing for quiet, others yearning to be heard.
When we acknowledge each part with compassion, true healing and integration begin. In our rapidly changing world, where external demands and social challenges constantly vie for our attention, the journey inward becomes not just a personal refuge but a necessity for sustainable service to others.
This exploration will guide you through creating and maintaining your inner sanctuary, offering both practical wisdom and personal insights from my path.
Let's turn our attention to the intricate interplay of our inner voices.
The Sacred Dance of Inner Voices
Within every individual lies a constellation of inner parts, each carrying its wisdom and wounds. When we create space to listen, we discover that each part holds a piece of our truth.
By learning to quiet the external noise and engage in mindful reflection, our essential nature can bring forth clarity, purpose, and authentic power.
With this understanding as our foundation, we now move toward a practical framework for nurturing self-love.
Four Simple Practices to Embrace Sacred Self-Care
The journey to authentic self-love requires both structure and flexibility. Here is a refined approach to nurturing your inner sanctuary, complete with practical steps and personal insights.
Sacred Stillness Rituals
Core Practice: Dedicate a specific time each day for complete solitude. Create a space free from distractions where silence can become your teacher and companion. Let this be your daily appointment with your soul.
How I Embrace It: Every morning, I rise 30 minutes before the world demands my attention. In this precious interval, I meditate, practice deep breathing, and express gratitude. This simple ritual has become my foundation for showing up fully in all other aspects of life.
Boundary Mastery
Core Practice: Define and maintain clear boundaries with grace and firmness. Each boundary you set affirms your self-worth and commitment to your well-being.
How I Embrace It: My greatest challenge—and growth—has come from learning to say "no" to seemingly small things: the extra load of laundry that can wait, the non-urgent phone call that can be returned tomorrow. These micro-boundaries have created the most profound shifts in my daily life.
Inner Dialogue Practice
Core Practice: Establish a regular practice of self-reflection through journaling or contemplative dialogue. Create space to hear and honor all your inner voices—from the worried to the wise.
How I Embrace It: When extensive journaling feels overwhelming, I use a simple jar system. Throughout the day, I write brief notes—gratitudes, concerns, insights—and place them in the jar. Weekly, usually before my therapy session, I review these fragments of my inner life, letting them guide my growth and the conversations with my therapist or coach.
Sustainable Self-Care Systems
Core Practice: Develop routines that nourish both body and soul, treating them as non-negotiable appointments with yourself. Build these practices into the fabric of your daily life and, if you can, make them sustainable.
Personal Journey: I have found deep satisfaction in creating my self-care products—from hair masks to facial treatments. This practice connects me to ancient wisdom, reduces waste, and transforms self-care into an act of environmental stewardship. Each preparation becomes a meditation on sustainability and self-love.
As you integrate these practices into your daily routine, notice how the nourishment of your inner sanctuary begins to ripple outward.
From Personal Practice to Universal Service
When we commit to this journey of self-love, we create ripples that extend far beyond our sphere. Each moment spent nurturing our inner sanctuary builds our capacity to serve others from a place of authenticity and abundance rather than depletion.
This work is not about perfection—it is about presence. It is about showing up for ourselves with the same compassion we offer others. As we strengthen our relationship with our inner family of voices and honor our divine essence, we naturally become vessels for more profound service in the world.
Your journey begins with a simple yet powerful choice: to put yourself first, not out of selfishness but from a deep understanding that the most genuine service flows from a well-nourished soul.
Start today. Choose one practice from the blueprint above and commit to it fully. Let your inner sanctuary become the foundation from which you serve the world.
"But first, me" is not just a mantra—it is a movement toward more authentic and sustainable ways of being and serving in the world.
The Story Behind the Photo
In December 2019, I worked on implementing a program that took me away from home for weeks. When I came back for New Year's Eve, I passed out with exhaustion. My daughter took this photo of my girls surrounding and healing my soul. Their mission is to nourish my existence and remind me that by putting myself first, I become a better instrument for the work I have been called to do and a better human for them.
Join the Conversation
Leave me a comment below and tell me what your dream is. If public discourse is too public for you, send me a note at info@soulfulsojourners.com.
And as always, be safe, dear sojourner, until we see each other again on these pages or in a Complimentary 50-minute Insight Session.
Neidy Lozada, MATP, CTTC, CSIC, is a Legacy Cultivator and Transformational Strategist who works from the framework of transformational. Transpersonal and spiritual integration coaching. She brings over twenty years of experience in transpersonal practices, coaching, and business to her work with individuals from all over the globe. Neidy founded Soulful Sojourners following her long-held dream of building a company to provide top-notch coaching services to women, men, and organizations undergoing a profound transformational process. Neidy also founded the Spirited Entrepreneurs Empowerment Network (S.E.E.N.), a program of Soulful Sojourners designed to provide a platform for women to expand their reach. She continues to serve non-profit organizations in the Bay Area through her work as a board member. She is a proud mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, and devoted caretaker of furry companions.
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